are you so shy because you have an std?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
