I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
