Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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