Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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