I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
