I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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