I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
