is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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