Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
