I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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