Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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