What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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