Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
