You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
