Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
