Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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