I wish my penis had an off switch
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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