...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
