First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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