One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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