i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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