K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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