I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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