I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
