You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize