I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
