What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
