using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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