apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
