...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
