Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
