dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My Sexting was not on an AP level
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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