Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
