Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
