i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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