She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
