I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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