i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
