dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
only if we run a train.
done.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
