There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Couch. On fire.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize