Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
