I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just had sex bonerless
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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