Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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