let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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