so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
