What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
