Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
