Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
As shirtless as possible
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
