There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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