we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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