Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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