SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
