I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
