And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bring money and cleavage
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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