I must be too annoying 4 u.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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