went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
