toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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