my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
