mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
